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Thursday, December 18, 2014

Our Nature

                                                       Our Nature

     Going through life by making mistakes and trying to make the world jealous. Who are you and who am I? Who are we to be the one that want to love someone and yet have the fear of loving them? I often question my destiny and I sometimes question my faith. Yet and still I yearn for strength. I yearn for guidance. My heart wants to pour out so many of these troubled thoughts. There's so many troubled feelings; from the shaking and trembling inside my very being. My hands are reaching
Sade Collins
higher because the giving has given in. 

      The sense of not being able to control the very thoughts and those feelings run through my veins so deeply. Again, I question my faith. I even question my direction, for I am sometimes afraid to win and I am also sometimes even more afraid to lose. It is in our nature to question the very things that we face in life in general.  At times, I may need a little bit more reassurance,  my mind tends to wonder off here and there. 

      My heart tends to wonder too. The jealousy escapes from my soul, the envy emerge, from within,  the enemy walks so near, he’s always trying to make me lose sight of what's ahead.  Struggling, trying to gain control of my innermost thoughts inside of my being. I reach out and I pray. “Lord take these reigns, lead my heart, and lead my mind”!  At times, I'm not so sure of what I know about my destiny and purpose for my very life.  I don’t always truly understand the directions that God is leading me too. Yet and still it doesn’t stop me for praying for HIS mercy and guidance. 

       I am a willing vessel that is trying to survive off of God’s terms, but I don’t know how, and I am still trusting HIM. Finding the answers to those questions steers me into striving for more... ambitions in life... It is in OUR nature to question the things we face in life. My desire is to learn how to become the virtuous woman, that the bible talks about.  I want to discover the woman that God has intended for me to be, but at the same time I am afraid. I am afraid of losing myself, afraid of not knowing what to expect, or what’s going to happen next.  

       Its all in our nature, to be afraid of not knowing the answers to all of our questions.  FEAR, wasn't something that God, gave us, so I am learning how to trust Him in everything. Yet we hold back so much out of fear. As human beings, we hold back on living the lives we’ve always dreamed of, we hold back from our destiny, we hold back on self love and self realization. We hold back on our family and friends, we hold back out of the lack of trust, the lack of love, lack of faith, and so full of fear and yet and still, we are humans.  Fear shouldn't be apart of our nature.
            Our nature is the ability to survive. The strength to endure, to achieve,  to believe and to understand the seeds that have been planted into the root of our very own being.  In search of that paved road, in search of the answers to those many of questions; but yet and still we settle, we tend to become complacent, we tend to give in and lose sight on what makes life ALL worth living. Search your soul for that feeling is there. For its in fact in your nature.